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Sex Does Not Equal Commitment

Many people today treat sex as the litmus test for whether or not they should embark, or consider embarking on a serious relationship with someone. There is a proverbial ‘race to the bedroom’ as dating quickly becomes a game of cat and mouse with one or both parties involved trying frantically to end up between the sheet instead of ending up in a commitment. Simply stated, sex does not equal commitment. Perhaps at one point in the past sex and commitment were synonymous but with today’s hookup culture in full swing, if you find yourself between someone’s legs, odds are that’s all you’re really getting. Especially if you haven’t known them very long.

If you want commitment from someone, sprinting into the bedroom is not how you get it. Sex may feel like a commitment because it’s such a personal experience and one might think the only reason someone would desire to share such an experience is that they are also interested in a long-term commitment at some point. Wrong! Sex is often viewed simply as a mutual exchange of pleasure instead of a deeply intimate way to express love for someone you’ve already made a commitment to. And when given the opportunity, people will swipe right into your life, hit it, and swipe right back out as if they were never there.

If you find yourself disappointed and you feel as though people always want to have sex first and ask questions later, that’s because they do! Unfortunately, that’s how many people operate now due to the constant saturation of sex, online challenges and dating apps that encourage quickly finding the next person that sparks your interest instead of meeting one person at a time in a healthy, mature way. But even in the midst of this, ask yourself whether or not you are communicating to potential partners that you prioritize commitment and not just a good time. Ask yourself if you communicate clearly to potential partners that sex is not something you wish to explore until you’ve gotten to know more information about them.

Sexual expression and freedom come at a cost and it’s often a cost that doesn’t have to be paid up-front (which can be tricky) No one can tell you how, where and when you can and should sleep with someone but let’s be very clear. If you prioritize sex above compatibility and commitment or if you make the grave mistake of confusing one for the other, you might find yourself on the other side of your 30’s still single, frustrated and wondering why you haven’t been able to find a mate to build a life with long term.

Slow down, be clear about what you want and don’t compromise. Why? because sex does not equal commitment.

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